Is it selfish or weird to want to adopt a child?

Question by Meliss: Is it selfish or weird to want to adopt a child?
I’ve already given birth to two children. My daughter Juliet who is 3 and my son Ryan who is 9 months old. I love them very much and being pregnant has its good and bad things. My husband and I both want another child. But he works and I work. We both maintain active social lives, occassionally travel with work (He mostly goes to conferences in the states but sometimes I travel to foreign countries), and I’ve always been in very good shape. I’ve managed to finally gotten back to the body I had before. After the first pregnancy, I was close to the same weight but flabbier. The process of getting in shape twice was very stressful and at times, challenging. I’m just not sure if I want to do it a third time, as bad as that sounds. Most importantly, my father left my mother before I was born and I was taken away from my mother by the Department of Human Services at 5. My grandparents adopted me. My brother spent about a year in an abusive foster home before being adopted. I would really like to adopt a child. My husband and I are still discussing it. He’s supportive of me and said that if it’s something I want, although he would prefer me to have our baby, it’s my body so I decide. And be wants another kid bad, haha. But his mother and sister are really irritating me.
“Why would you want to adopt a kid when you guys have no problem having your own.”
“It’s gonna look so weird in pictures because it won’t resemble either one of you.”
“Your child will probably resent you and wish for its real parents.”

So what do you think of the idea? Are his family out of line? What is their problem? He’s told them off for it but they’re still trying to sway me.

Best answer:

Answer by Thelotr
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7 thoughts on “Is it selfish or weird to want to adopt a child?”

  1. No I want to adopt and I don’t even want any biological children. I want to adopt a special needs child, maybe a deaf child (I know ASL fluently) or a child with down’s syndrome since I have worked with them a lot as a volunteer. I feel like I could give a lot more back by adopting a child that I would understand in a way that others might not. There are a ton of kids out there that need homes, especially older kids. Everyone tells you there aren’t enough babies to adopt, but that’s only healthy white newborns. All the other kids in the system get shafted.

    Btw as for the “it’s gonna look so weird in photos” thing, do any of these families look like anything other than loving families?

    http://www.bcadoption.com/images/Alexander_Family1.jpg
    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_XB9nHd1LS8o/TUXPg0XVoEI/AAAAAAAAEnw/pOWIjJwAGGo/s1600/adoptionfampic.jpg
    http://www.musicvideolife.com/showbiz/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/053029a7al-adoption-290×192.jpg
    http://www.oursonfromafar.co.uk/images/timesnov2.jpg

  2. Really its none of their business since their points aren’t valid. Yes adopting a child has all of its own new challenges, but your also saving a kid from so much loneliness an pain in foster care. Its never wrong to want to love someone else. Or make someones life better. Maybe their afraid they wont be able to love it as much as ‘blood’. The picture thing is dumb. Who cares?? I have a brother that looks nooooothing like any of my other brothers or me..and he wasn’t adopted. Love makes a family..not looks..not blood.

  3. I had 2 biological children and adopted a girl. THAT WAS THE WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. She thinks she is supposed to be treated more special than the other children (they are all now grown) and has tried to cause my husband and I to separate. If I had to do it all over again, I would turn my back and walk away from the adoption. It has been nothing but hell every time she visits or calls. DON’T ADOPT.

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