Q&A: Should I tell the mother of 14- year-old that she is sexually active?
Question by Wondering: Should I tell the mother of 14- year-old that she is sexually active?
I have recently become the caregiver/guardian to a 16-year-old boy. He regularly comes to me for advice and confides in me. So . . . I know that he has been sexually active.
We have spoken about safe sex numerous times, but he just confided in me that “the condom broke” during intercourse. and he and his 14-year-old girlfriend are nervous she may be pregnant. He is very stressed about the situation–as he should be.
My dilemma is whether or not I should tell the girlfriend’s parents she is sexually active. I do not know the mother personally. I am also faced with a language barrier–the mother does not speak English.
Is it my responsibility to tell the mother? Will my teenage boy recoil and stop trusting me as a result and see it as a violation of trust? I am sure there would be some emotional backlash.
This is the first time I have taken on the “parent” role. I just want to make sure I am doing the right thing. I do not want to enable irresponsible or unsafe behavior in ANY child. I wish he were not sexually active at all–but know this is not realistic. Ahhhh . . . I am so confused.
I am open and in need of all opinions. Please advise.
Answer by tinkerbell mom of 1
he may never trust you again if you tell, but i would just sit him down and ask him what he was looking for when he told you if he was looking for an answer then give him yours that now you are stuck with the problem of knowing this about the girl and feeling like the mom needs to know… just talk to him first see how he feels you don’t want to break his trust in you because if he told you that then he trusts you allot…. maybe just wait a while until she misses or gets her period to see how sever the situation is.. then if she is then maybe he would want you to tell the mother so he dose not have to…. as fair as the language barrier i don’t know about that…. good luck
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