What should I do to lift my sister’s spirit?
Question by Paul: What should I do to lift my sister’s spirit?
I am a 26-year-old British male involved in an incestuous relationship with my 29-year-old sister. Save your judgements, moral lessons and Jerry Springer jokes. I’ve heard it all, personally I couldn’t care less, and I certainly won’t justify myself to you.
However, I’m hoping some of you out there might be decent, forward-thinking people interested in helping me raise my girlfriend’s spirit and who don’t care that she happens to be my sister.
Allow me to explain the situation: earlier this year, our family discovered the true nature of our relationship and sadly, though not surprisingly, they couldn’t see past their backwards morals and renounced us. For the past 8 months, we’ve been living in a small, 1-bedroom apartment that used to belong to our grandparents. Our love is as strong as ever, I know when I look into her eyes that her feelings for me are as powerful as mine for hers. As long as we have each other, a roof over heads, and food to eat, we’ll have everything we need.
However, we’ve just spend our Christmas alone and that has greatly saddened my sister, she says it’s not the same thing with the family around. She reassured me that she’s not even considering ending our relationship, she loves me and says she’ll just have to endure and get used to it, but I feel bad for her. I want to do something for her to life her spirit, but I can’t think of anything for this particular situation, have you any suggestions?
Answer by Keith
First of all, congrats on your relationship and congrats on putting the bigots in their place. I wish you all of the best.
There are other people near you in the same circumstances. I personally know some British sibling couples. You should reach out to find them. I can put you in touch with them.
As for all of the prejudiced discriminators: There is no rational reason for keeping laws or taboos against consensual incest that is consistently applied to other relationships. Personal disgust or religion is only a reason why one person would not want to personally engage in what I call consanguinamory, not why someone else shouldn’t do it. An adult should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with ANY consenting adults. Youthful experimentation between close relatives close in age is not uncommon, and there are more people than you’d think out there who are in lifelong healthy, happy relationships with a close relative. It isn’t for everyone, but we’re not all going to want to have each others’ love lives, now are we? If someone thinks YOUR love life is disgusting, should you be thrown in prison?
Some people try to justify their prejudice against consanguineous sex and marriage by being part-time eugenicists and saying that such relationships inevitably lead to “mutant” or “deformed” babies. This argument can be refuted on several fronts. 1. Some consanguineous relationships involve only people of the same gender. 2. Not all mixed-gender relationships birth biological children. 3. Most births to consanguineous parents do not produce children with significant birth defects or other genetic problems; while births to other parents do sometimes have birth defects. 4. We don’t prevent other people from marrying or deny them their reproductive rights based on increased odds of passing along a genetic problem or inherited disease. It is true that in general, children born to consanguineous parents have an increased chance of these problems than those born to nonconsanguineous parents, but the odds are still minimal. Unless someone is willing to deny reproductive rights and medical privacy to others and force everyone to take genetic tests and bar carriers and the congenitally disabled and women over 35 from having children, then equal protection principles prevent this from being a justification to bar this freedom of association and freedom to marry.
Some say “Your sibling should not be your lover.” That is not a reason. It begs the question. Many people have many relationships that have more than one aspect. Some women say their sister is their best friend. Why can’t their sister be a wife, too?
Some say “There is a power differential.” This applies least of all to siblings or cousins who are close in age, but even where the power differential exists, it is not a justification for denying this freedom to sex or to marry. There is a power differential in just about any relationship, sometimes an enormous power differential. To question if consent is truly possible in these cases is insulting and demeaning.
Some say “There are so many people outside of your family.” There are plenty of people within one’s own race, too, but that is no reason to ban interracial marriage. So, this isn’t a good reason either.
Some people who say it is wrong seem to have no problem with complete strangers having sex. So get over it, all of you who want your personal disgust to dictate the lives of others.
What do you think? Answer below!
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